It really does.

Here is the scenario. I'm busy cooking and chopping up chicken for the tacos I'm making for tea. Knife is sabatier and very very sharp, the kind I need and am fairly used to handling.

However the phone rings. Now we have a new phone which has the most irritating ring on the planet on the grounds that all four handsets have different rings, they are on loud and frighten the life out of you.

Naturally knife went through finger. Ring finger of right hand (phew ... I'm left handed). Swear copiously and answer phone to stupid conservatory salesman. Patiently explain to him that his company would be better off trying to sell ice to Eskimos whilst wrestling with kitchen towel to wrap around finger which is dripping blood quite disturbingly now. Apply pressure, elevate hand and drop phone. Pick up phone, tell guy graciously that I am bleeding and don't want the blood to sink into the laminate floor otherwise my mother will ensure that I bleed a lot more.

With phone hung up and hand wrapped in pile of kitchen towel, I dutifully clean up the blood on the floor, surprised at the bright-red-y-ness of it (somehow I always expect it to be darker, I hope for stylish blood). Throw out paper towels and discover that finger has bled through wodge of paper towels I have held against it and happy little blood track running down arm perilously close to cream linen shirt I thought it would be a good idea to wear today.

Swear some more, ignore the rapidly numbing of finger, hold it over sink to drip whilst I fold up a flannel and press it hard against wound all the while holding it down firmly as instructed and elevating arm again.

Look at clock and discover it has been bleeding solidly for half an hour. Bugger. That much blood is never a good thing. So decided that probably best to go down local surgery and have nurse steri-strip it back together, especially as I have no steri-strips, am trying to save linen shirt and surgery is only five minutes slow walk.

Ring surgery, discover surgery has incorporated itself into the local multi-branch medical practice. Ring new number, noticing blood creeping through towel. Curse, adjust fabric and pull it tight, suddenly feel pulse throb in finger and breathe sigh of relief. Ask receptionist if nurse appointment available in the next hour.

Simple answer. No. Receptionist goes and gets nurse anyway. Nurse tells me to do everything I've been doing the last 40 minutes. Answer than it's still bleeding and would like proper dressing for it as Superdrugs el Cheapo brand of plasters somehow won't solve the problem.

Am asked: "Do you think you need stitches?"
Answer: "Don't know, can't see the cut itself because of the blood thats in the way and the wodge of flannel stopping the blood from being even more in the way."
Reply: "You will need to go to A and E to get it dressed. We don't do stitches here."
Answer: "...*murble**sigh* I just want a thicker dressing than a plaster"
Reply: "We don't have that sort of equipment here, but if you want to drop in tomorrow, we can see what we can do for you, or I suggest you go to A&E"
Answer: "Er, I think I'll have a bash at doing it myself thanks."

It worries me that local surgeries do not have the equipment to deal with the most minor injuries and tell people to go to A&E. Somehow it just doesn't feel right with people being rushed in half-dead with bits missing and there's a group of us with cuts and bruises that just need a better form of plaster and someone else to hold your hand still.

Put phone back and unroll flannel. See that bleeding has gone from flow to ooze and use that time to dig out antiseptic cream and old hankerchief that will be upgraded to duster one day. Cut square of hanky, take top off tubi grip bandage and make imitation dressing pad. Use tiny strip of duct tape to hold it in place whilst digging out anciently dusty roll of micropore. Tape up finger and start writing up the whole episode.

Tacos for tea anyone??

Eurovision report below

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Working every single night this week. Once again proving that I jump from all shifts to no shifts and one of my mates has left the bar for a better job, this is pants, he was the only guy who was happy to act like a child with me :D.

Have started writing again too, a good portion of credit must be given to f1de1s for snapping me out of my funk last night. Between him and my darling hara_hetta I finally got more than four hours sleep last night (I got 11!!!) and felt refreshed this afternoon.

Also: I'M IN THE BLACK BY £20 FOR OVER 24 HOURS!!! FIRST TIME IN 2 YEARS!! lets hope it carries on this way.