How to cook a three course meal in an hour (from the "Cooking with Chibi With None of The Gordon Ramsey Crap" series)

Starter - Proscitto wrapped Melon
Main - Chicken Mischiare with Rosemary Roasties
Dessert - Stroke by Chocolate

(Serves 1 Chibi, 1 K-chan and 1 Freezer

Ingredients:

One pack of six chicken Thighs
Tin of Chopped Tomatoes
2-3 Rosemary Stalks
Basil (I used six leaves but dried is just as well)
1 Red Onion
1 Pepper
1 Courgette
Half Pack Baby Button Mushrooms
Salt, Pepper, Herbs or whatever
Spoon of plain flour or cornflour
Three large potatoes
Glug of Olive Oil
Warm Slippers
Good hacky hacky knife
Giant pan (sauce of fry) or love
Honeydew Melon
Pack of Proscuitto (or Parma Ham, or Serrano ham - whatever Sainsburys are choosing to reduce that week, if it's thin cut, cured and south european buy it.)
Balsamic Vinegar
4oz Caster Sugar
4oz Marg
2 Medium Egglets
5oz Self-Raising Flour
Random bar of dark chocolate
12 Songs of varying quality and listenability (I chose inamongst others Caramelldansen, Scissor Sisters, Buck Cherry and Ai Otsuka)
Plaster

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Method
1. Set up timer, switch on oven to 180 and switch on music.
2. Sing briefly.
3. Peel Potatoes and chop into roughly inch cubed pieces. Go through thumb with hacky hacky knife.
4. Shove on baked tray with glug of olive oil and rosemary leaves.
5. Shove in oven and slice up all other veg apart from melon.
6. Get giant pan of love, skip to a track you like, switch hob to high and mini glug of olive oil.
7. Get scissors and snip chicken chunks into warming pan. Nod head in time to music (Important).
8. Shuffle pan in a interesting way then bung in veggies. Give another stylish shuffle.
9. Hear about K-chans poor rusting car and give advice on new car.
10. Open can of tomatoes and shove in pan.
11. Put spoon of corn/plainflour into empty can and fill with cold water and a dash of balsamic. When flour mostly dissolved shove into pan. Mix it. Whack up heat and leave to boil.
12. Doa little dance, weigh out caster and marg. Blitz with mixer. Hear more about poor dead car.
13. Crack eggs into pot or mug and cover with cling film. Shake vigorously as you are shuffling the pan of love at the same time.
14. Add egglets to mixy bowl and blitz the crap out of.
15. Break up dark chocoalte into bowl and microwave. As it is going round and round do a little air guitar as you are blitzing in the flour. When choc melted, mix half in, leaving other half aside.
16. Shove in cake tin/deep baking tray and bung in over. At the same time get out the potatoes and shovel them around a bit to get the whole veness thing going. Hum in time to music, bung potatoes back in and stir tomato mix.
17. Hack up melon into finger style things, wrap each finger in a half piece of fancy ham. Sprinkle with balsamic if you like.
18. Pause music, serve starter, eat starter, field surprised comments from K-chan.
19. Get out potatoes, test the cake by shoving knife in, if clean and the mixture not bubbling then cooked. Turn out onto cooling rack (or the clean grill)
20. Serve up potatoes and Mischiare (which should be more than ready, you can even put a basil leaf on it if you like).
21. Quickly spread remaining melted chocllate on top of sponge cake and sprinkle random decoration on it (I have hundreds and thousands but icing sugar just as cool).
22. Serve up main meal - field more comments from K-chan
23. Ignore the washing up.

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The little weekend in London was nice, especially going to the Comedy Store and watching Paul Merton, Mike Mcshane and Phil Jupitus do improv with three other guys. It was funny. We also had delicieux burgers in the pub next door beforehand. Did a little christmas shopping in Fortnum and Masons too (don't look at me like that - they sell salted milk chocolate that I love). Me and K-chan each bought a christmas deocration for our first joint christmasd tree. He bought a glass icicle with spun glass inside it and I bought a Snowbird ornament with glass beads and feathers. So pretty.

Spent today doing errands including getitng hair cut by a very questionable hairdresser (my regular lady wasn't there but the young thing seemed so sparky I didn't have the heart to say no). It's not bad but not the best I've had. Also finally gained a tablecloth for LolTable, hoovered the car, did the shopping and tidied up. I feel accomplished.

On another note. New manga? Can I get it. Can I bollox...

http://www.walmart.com/catalog/catalog.gsp?cat=546834

Oh please let them do that here

Random Recipe which was found in my filing on a piece of file paper and typed up for your approval and review. steamnuts I'm looking at you.

Bomb Site Brownies

Ingredients

4 oz – Random margarine without toast crumbs
The biggest bar of plain chocolate that the supermarket do – the one with the red packaging, no crappy own brand through, it smells.
4 oz - Plain flour – the puff stuff won’t work.
Shluff of cocoa powder
10oz Caster sugar + three more for Gary’s tea
2 Eggies no chicken
1 tsp rum vodka wine Southern Comfort Vanilla essence
Random Crap from cupboard – cherries from Christmas, raisins from Fruit and Fibre, hot chocolate marshmallows, beer nuts? Bashed up Milky bar
Two bottles of white wine

What to do
- Make housemates tea and ask him to find a CD – ask him to open wine.
- Find the least dirty cake tin and grease it
- Drink wine
- Sod water melty use microwave and whiz chocco and butter until liquidity
- Drink wine
- Shove sugar and random alcohol/vanilla and mixxy
- Change CD to cheesy 80’s classics and share rest of wine.
- Beat in eggs sift in flour and cocoa, if no sifterer just shove in and mix like a mad bugger.
- Drink wine
- Beat mixture into pulp.
- Get housemate to taste and try and get some on his nose.
- Stir in random crap and NOT wine.
- Remember to switch oven on. Swear – VERY IMPORTANT
- Open new bottle of wine whilst waiting for it to warm
- Pour mixture in tin, shove in oven, force the door shut with mountain bike or broom handle.
- Check after one episode of Family Guy and if top not cracked, listen to two more tracks on 80’s CD then get out.
- Leave to cool, cut squares, finish wine, put on Bond Movie and eat.

Also two jobs have come up. One is near Cambridge but public transport doesn't go there (can't risk hoping to have a car), the other is part time which makes me sad.

And an online chance at proof reading I managed to screw over because I kept missing the last two questions which took my score below 95% which sucks.